


A long, long time

by fan_but_no_art



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Slightly based on the Competitor MV, kinda???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26215471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fan_but_no_art/pseuds/fan_but_no_art
Summary: Zhangjing thinks Yanjun's anxiety is talking to him, when it actually is something else.
Relationships: Lin Yanjun/You Zhangjing
Kudos: 8





	A long, long time

"You know what, Zhangjing?," Yanjun wondered, his hold on the chocolate ice cream cone tightening, "I think we make a good cou- I mean, pair."

The two men were sitting in the sidewalk, their ice creams almost eaten and their shirts sticking to their bodies due to the sweat. Twenty three years of life had just been packed in the trunk of his car, the sun going down in the Taipei horizon.

Yanjun hadn't thought goodbye would be like this, bittersweet and similar to any other goodbye, the difference laying on the longer distance that would separate them in this occasion.

Zhangjing laughed at him like he always did, his pink lips framing his bunny teeth, and his happiness contagious to Yanjun.

"Of course we are, Lin Yanjun," he had replied, oblivious to the very revealing mistake Yanjun committed, "that's what best friend are supposed to be."

Which is what didn't let Yanjun just drive away, with the air hitting his face as he regretted having not killed the what ifs they had been dancing around for years. The fact that the whole relationship, the trust, the love and support they had put into it just resumed into a friendship. Nothing more and nothing less. 

Every day Yanjun lived revolved around the older man, the name of all those actions showing up until it was too late for things to not break.

Yanjun couldn't put into words how much Zhangjing meant, the search for a label complicated and painful.

The mere thought of not seeing his friend soon had made his heart ache, the pure idea unbearable. Yanjun never imagined his art would take him somewhere until The Call a few weeks ago, the contract of an entertainment agency given to him as a chance to prove the talent he had, and not the beauty everyone seemed to notice first.

Their knees were touching, the weight making clear how close they were sitting, comforting the other with their presence.

"I'm not ready," Yanjun confessed lowly, barely audible to Zhangjing's trained ears.

"You are. You have dreamt of this all your life. You cannot turn back now," the script Zhangjing had memorized was easily recited as he tried to not think of the following day without his friend. The memories of a certain white-haired boy singing his heart out on a bench a few years ago flooded his mind, a little chuckle coming out of him. Yanjun's voice had cracked on so many notes and Yanjun's essay draft had gone flying with the wind, making Zhangjing laugh so hard he felt his tummy hurt. The shadow of a smile was on his lips. Zhangjing felt as if staying was worse than leaving, because he couldn't run away from the same memories he had stored safely in his heart. There was no running away, no avoiding. But Yanjun didn't have to know that.

"But what if it doesn't work?," Yanjun's anxiety spoke, "What if my potential isn't enough? If my passion doesn't compensate my lack of dancing and knowledge. If–"

"You'll be fine, Lin Yanjun. You'll make it work." The hand Zhangjing placed in Yanjun's shoulder was warm and affectionate, rubbing soothingly to calm him.

"But you won't be there. And how could I work without you?"

"You'll make it work, Yanjun." Zhangjing repeated, reassuring him, his hand fell down slowly, fearing Yanjun noticed the tremble in it. "I haven't always been here and I'll probably won't be in the future. You'll be surrounded by more important people than me."

Yanjun tilted his head, perplexed as to why the person he had spent most of his days in the last four years was suddenly not trusting him. "Do you think I'll forget you? Do you think I care so little for you?"

"Of course not. It's just..." Zhangjing stammered. His breath slowly steadying, his head slumped backwards, and his eyes contemplating the clear sunset sky. The easiness with which he spoke made Yanjun feel the acceptance of the words he pronounced. "It's just that maybe we have been together because we were alone until we weren't. You won't be here anymore. I don't have to stay here any longer. You know I have no one else."

"Zhangjing," Yanjun protested, "I never looked for someone else because you are all I need. You've always been."

"Yanjun, don't say stupid things like that." Zhangjing implored, closing his eyes, trying to ignore the pang of heartache that hits him whenever he looks at him, wishing this isn't goodbye, and Yanjun isn't leaving, and this is another day in the life they have been sharing for a while.

"I don't feel ready because I don't want to leave you." Yanjun follows Zhangjing, his head slumped backwards and his eyes looking for the right words in the clear blue sky. "Even if you're the reason I got the opportunity to begin with," he adds, the smile in his lips one of thankfulness and appreciation, as every single one he directed in Zhangjing's direction.

"No, Yanjun. You earned it. You passed the audition because you sang and you were chosen. You have to leave, whether I like it or not."

How was it possible that Zhangjing overlooked all the attention and the role he had in his life? Was he saying that those years didn't mean more than company?

"I'm just so tired. Tired of being like this with you." Yanjun pledged, his heartbeat accelerating.

"Being like what?"

"Fragile. Bound to break at the slightest bend. I've think about this long enough." Yanjun inhaled, his determined look directing towards the older." I've always wanted more," he declared softly.

"More of what?"

"Of you. I want you to be by my side for longer. I want to sing with you on our way home. I want to drink green tea in the afternoons with you. I want you closer." 

"Our friendship won't be able to take your absence, Yanjun. There's no point in making this more difficult than what it already is." The inevitable future Zhangjing had imagined was setting in front of him while the words he wished he could say abandoned him.

"No, Zhangjing. You haven't understand.

I want you to be with me longer. I want _you_ ," Yanjun breathed. His hands turned Zhangjing's face to him, cradling it, the tears gathered in his eyes, clouding the view Yanjun was."I love you. And not as a friend or as a brother. I love _you_. I love your laugh, and your messy hair, and your small hands and all of you. And I'm tired of pretending I'm fine with this bits of you when I want more."

"Tell me this is a joke, Lin Yanjun. Say it, it's okay," tears rolled in his cheeks and between Yanjun's fingers, his voice sadder and more desperate than ever. "You deserve better than an old man who has a simple life and simple days. You deserve to see the world, to live your dreams outside of this place."

"All my dreams have you in them. And you aren't in this one. I want to be next to you. Why can't you believe it?"

Zhangjing could feel sincerity and honesty, his heart trapped between his doubts and the gaze of the man who had been his friend for such a long time by then. He felt a firm press in his lips, gentle and soothing. He kissed Yanjun back, his sticky hands on his shoulders as they kissed deeper, giving in to what they had always craved to do. It was slow, the warmth they felt enough to fight the chilly breeze of the early night. Their lips molded, fitting together as puzzle pieces, their taste sweet and cold. 

They pulled apart and became two again. 

Their eyes met and Zhangjing saw love, the same he knew would be in his own eyes. They smiled. And how couldn't they? Everything would be fine now. There's no way they could say goodbye now.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when I was supposed to write other things. I suck.  
> I sort of had a dream about this and I wrote some of it as soon as I woke up, in the middle of the night. Yikes.  
> I love my boys. I missed them. Zhangjing has me all sentimental with his latest music, and idk. I think I'm melancholic and sad as shit these days. I'm sorry. I'll edit some other day, in the not near future because I don't feel like doing it soon.
> 
> Send you lost of love from the beautiful but chaotic Mexico.
> 
> (Kudos and comments are hugely appreciated!!!)


End file.
